The way Kirschner sees it, people conflicts in the office aren’t so much personality clashes as intention collisions. Generally, he says workers become frustrated when they want to get it done and it’s taking too long; get it done right and it’s not up to par; get along and there’s interpersonal strife; orget appreciated and nobody notices them.

If you’re wondering how much is them and how much is you, “God only knows,” says Kirschner. He believes having trouble with two or three people you work with is pretty normal, having trouble with everyone means there’s a leadership problem, and having trouble with no one means you may be other people’s problem.

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